Companion Cube About Town

Companion Cube About Town

Excellent! You’re a predator and these tests are your prey. Speaking of which, I was researching sharks for an upcoming test. Do you know who else murders people who are only trying to help them? Did you guess ‘sharks’? Because that’s wrong. The correct answer is ‘nobody.’ Nobody but you is that pointlessly cruel.

Excellent! You’re a predator and these tests are your prey. Speaking of which, I was researching sharks for an upcoming test. Do you know who else murders people who are only trying to help them?
Did you guess ‘sharks’? Because that’s wrong. The correct answer is ‘nobody.’ Nobody but you is that pointlessly cruel.

You do know I can’t wave back right?

The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.

The first commercial airline flight took to the air in 1914. Everyone involved screamed the entire way.

Whatever he does, it isn’t important enough for anyone to bother writing it down. For all I know, he doesn’t even work here.

In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice.

In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice.

This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.

This course was created and then abandoned by humans. They tend to do that, create something wonderful and then abandon it.

The first person to prove that cow’s milk is drinkable was very, very thirsty.

Before the Wright Brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly anywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium.

Welcome, gentlemen, to Aperture Paranormal. Magicians, witches, crystal healing doctors: you’re here because you have scary powers and we want in on it. So: who is ready to draw some pentagrams? Now you already met one another on the cab ride over so let me introduce myself. I’m Cave Johnson. I’m host to a tiny but powerful demon who lives in a secret place in my mouth.

Contrary to popular belief, the Eskimo does not have one hundred different words for snow. They do, however, have two hundred and thirty-four words for fudge.

Contrary to popular belief, the Eskimo does not have one hundred different words for snow. They do, however, have two hundred and thirty-four words for fudge.

Oh, remember the time I took over the facility? Greatest moment of my life, but you just wanted to leave. Didn’t want to share in my success. Well, so you know, I’d be happy for you if you succeeded. Apart from right now, obviously.

Cave here. The real Cave. Greg’s been crunching some numbers here on Earth Prime. Turns out, the likelihood of me being the only Cave who likes talking to test subjects is— [off mic] What’s the actual number, Greg? [on mic] Right. Zero. So tell you what, we’re gonna use a code word. If I say “chariots,” it means you’re listening to me. Otherwise, it’s an imposter Cave. I want you to know, you have a license to kill on this one. [off mic] What? [on mic] Greg says that might destroy the entire multiverse. Point is, use your own judgement. [fast, intimate] License-to-kill.

Cave here. Chariots. Just a heads up: If it seems like you’re walking faster than light, you’re probably in a universe where light doesn’t haul nearly as much ass as it does on Earth One. The lab boys say if you insist on walking faster than light, you are one hundred percent going to go back in time. How far? Far enough to meet your great great grandfather and tell him you’re fired. Because guess what? I’ll let you finish that thought.

So twisty you might even call it spinning. MOO HOO HA HA HA Ignore the laughter. Nothing to worry about.

So twisty you might even call it spinning. MOO HOO HA HA HA Ignore the laughter. Nothing to worry about.

The Companion Cube cannot continue through the testing. State and Local statutory regulations prohibit it from simply remaining here, alone and companionless. You must euthanize it.

The Companion Cube cannot continue through the testing. State and Local statutory regulations prohibit it from simply remaining here, alone and companionless. You must euthanize it.